Might as well

Balance

I rather be happy doing my own things then doing favour for people but end up being unhappy . As much as I am a people person, I do have my own time and space where I would like to do my own things with my own pace and space. If anything goes wrong, there’s only myself to blame and I must admit, I have learned to get to know myself and be forgiving etc. Thus the issue of doing my own things without being continuously dependent on other people does not occur.    But if it incurs other people, then the thing becomes more complex. It takes a 1001 reasons (if we allow it) to justify why a person act/reacted the way he or she did. LOL. Then it drags on. The 1001 gives you more headache than the issue itself. The same thing when you feel you’re too ‘tied up’ with a person be it your colleague, house mate etc, causing you to lose  your own space and time. So prioritize. The same thing applies when you’re working or simply doing other random things.

I rather be happy with 1 or few selves than be unhappy with a bunch of friends who I thought could make me happy. I will end up bragging how unhappy I am than living the moment. It will not be worth a single second of my time because some people are selfish only to think of themselves and not other people. So is it worth it to be unhappy because of this selfish people ? I say NO.

If making yourself happy is first, then by all respect, the choice is yours.  Do all it takes. This life is short and you have to work your craft to make the best out of it. Do not leave  it to other people to decide what happiness means for you. You decide. You plan. You commit.You entrust yourself that life would be fair IF you are fair to it. So, balance.

Feeling Better

Yesterday was over and a new day begins today. Had a good time with some friends last night, movie, chit chatting and manage to spill  the heart out a bit. I realize that bitter experiences which I’ve been through do benefit me. Helps my mind and emotion mature, I suppose. Other than that, all system is good. Even met the doctor today to check on my knee. Looks fine too ! Yippee !!

Sun is shining, the weather is sweet yeah..-Bob Marley-

Me and friends

A Message To Eddie

If you’re reading this, I hope you’re all right. God Bless.

thy IF saga by missjewelz

IF you allow shit in your life, shit will come to you..

IF you allow people to shit on you, they will definitely do it any time they have the chance to

IF you think you don’t deserve this life, this life don’t deserve you

IF you think you love your friends, trust them to love you back

IF you think only you yourself can allow happiness to come to you, then don’t depend on other people for it

IF the thought of  someone hurts you, you know whats best. Just bloody STOP thinking of that someone. (easier said than done)

IF that someone comes to haunt, intimidates and want to make you look like a fool, then let it be. That someone is haunting himself and making a fool out of himself (also easier said than done)

IF you love someone, show that person your love. We only live once and there’s nothing to lose

IF you’re bored and need to talk, just pick up the phone and dial your favourite number !

IF you don’t know you’re special, let me tell you, you are special in every single way. Other people might not know it. Their bad.

IF you think life is being unfair to you, remember that every cloud has a silver lining

IF you think you’re hungry, go eat lah !

IF you feel that you don’t deserve to befriend certain people,don’t bother to know what the consequences are for defriending them.

p.s. (defriend is actually a word ok!exists in the urban dictionary!)

IF you know that you’re deemed as a serious person, crack a stupid joke. Its good to laugh once in a while.

IF you think your life is getting uncontrollably hectic, do charity. Have lesser things (and sometimes people) in life so that you can focus and give attention to them

IF you think you’re running out of time, I totally agree with you

IF you sense that irritating bastard is coming back at you, don’t run away. Stand your guard and show that you’re no loser

IF you think your pride and ego is eating you, you should know that beneath it are a few hundred layers of worm and bugs who are eating you up slowly..even at this moment you’re reading this line. Get rid of them ! Dial P-E-S-T-C-O-N-T-R-O-L.

IF you love life and want to die peacefully, spread the love and stop making enemies. Though you can’t control and know who your real friends are, the least you can do is be nice to everyone.

If you know certain friends are backbiting you, and they’ve unintentionally stirred some distrust in you, you know its time to move on. You don’t deserve undeserving people. Not even for a split second

If you think you need a break, go get one. No one is stopping ya

Juliana Ali

me and Aileen. A really nice & sweet friend !

Friends

Good to talk

Had  a long chat with a friend. Felt good because I was talking. Couldn’t ask for anything more.  It makes a whole lot of difference when you’re talking to nobody and then coming to the point when you’re really talking to somebody. You feel that hole in you being unplugged, and whatever you wish were let out before are now freed and released to the open. Imagine you’re in a dark room. Nothingness. Whether you open or close your eyes, everything looks the same. But when you step outside that room, you squint your eyes the moment light enters your eyes. Overwhelmed.

I had a good day today. A relative called, exchanged SMSes with my annoying but adorable little brother,and my cousin,  received phone calls from 2,3 friends, met up with another friend for supper and lastly spoke with another friend online. So refreshing. I’ve been through several occasions where I did not talk/contact anyone for 1 whole day. or maybe 2 or 3 !  Yeap, 24-72 weird hours of silence.  I just feel good at this point of time . And I wanna share that you can be happy and have that sense of well-being if you allow it to happen. If not, you’ll end up just like me yesterday when I couldn’t even smile. All I felt  like doing was just to cry. Shedding those tears is a sign of relief that you’re letting out.

I’m my own master in keeping and treasuring things. At times I keep the wrong things and letting go the wrong things as well.  But that is life isn’t it . We keep on trying, we keep on experimenting, we don’t give up on things just because they don’t go according to plan.If they did, or didn’t,  I will still go on with whatever I am doing and not get affected by  anything.  It’s the matter of choice. I can choose to feel disrespectful of a person who when I talk to doesn’t seem to have the courtesy to look at you into the eyes when you talk to him/her. Some people engage in eye contact to a point you feel shy to look at that person. Some people balance it up. Sometime  look, sometimes hold back that gaze.

I don’t have any exact point of what and why I’m writing all this rantings.I’m sleepy alright,  (expect some disorientation)but I still feel so happy today that I wanna keep on writing. But again, its really good to talk. Call or talk to someone if you haven’t spoken to anyone yet. Doesn’t matter what you talk or say.

pic of me after writing this post.sleepy but can still smile !

catching up with an old friend, Chekdet @ Delaney's. check out the enthusiasm obviously portrayed here on my face !

‘My Life’ – poem from Eddie

Mysterious Eddie writes again very nice of him to share. And I’m honoured to share this with you,if you’re reading this.

Enjoy.

eddie

Looking Good ?!

you look really good today

Hello hello !! You look really good today ! Yes, you ! We are sometimes so busy with our life and ‘living’ demands that we sometimes tend to forget to magically pause and simply cherish the beauty that life has for us. Too busy with work, date lines, presentations, write-ups and stresses. I find that people who are in less stress tend to compliment others easier compared to those under pressure. But would it be fair for the stressed out junkies to blurt out painful words and mind ‘blows’ to other friends just because he or she is having a bad day ? Is he or she the only person in the whole wide world having problems ? I guess we all know the answer to this question. There is no single person who does not have a problem. And there is no single walking person who goes through life without them. ‘It’ swings by once in a while. And sometimes too frequently. But again, it is not fair if we connect to other people having the stresses attached and dangling all over. There is nothing wrong with exchanging compliments. As simple as a ‘you look really good today!’. or ‘nice shirt’. A smile or thank you should be more than enough to make a person’s day, or even your day.Does it not make us happy to see other people’s beaming face and happiness (thanks to our initiation) ?

Some people grew up or developed into personalities which are soothing, pleasing, calming, ya know. the ‘always smiling’ type. While some,sadly, is quiet the opposite. You know, the ones always with the alter ego, always looking for other people’s fault, easily pissed off …well, i have lived enough years to differentiate between these two categories of people. And some people fall in the middle zone. It sickens me to my neck , people who can’t seem to have enough. They come into your lives, innocent. They exit your life as devils and father of the devils. Causing more and more pain and pressure at every turn and point of exit. And wait, there is not only one devils, but many ! They come and they go. Taking over your lives. Having no mercy at all what your pre-conditions are ! Whether you just had a bad and stressed out day with your boss, family and banks. They just come as they will. Robbing you of your happiness and peace which you have struggled to gain with all your mighty might.

At one point of time, many of us would sit back and reflect. When will this end. ??  What surprises awaits me round the corner? Can I trust another living soul  now? I am pretty sure many of us can relate to this. Some of our friends (and even colleagues/family members) can’t sit still until they see us in pain, worry, sadness. It psychotically excites them to see that we are reacting to their so-called plan of actions.Devil actions. A simple smile or laughter from us marks the de-glorification of the Devil. The Devil strikes back. Coming with all sort of bad-managed scheme to make our heart , soul and hopes crumble again. The Devil here, i believe, you have seen him. He’s got 2 legs. A pair of lungs. HE BREATHE THE SAME AIR THAT WE BREATHE. HE IS ……HUMAN……

So friends, be aware that we do not deserve this unfair treatment. Being  jollied by the Devil. We do not deserve  to be directed by this force. We do not want it to take over our lives and cause more misery than we already have at the moment. Hadn’t we. If someone challenges to play with your trustworthiness, your respect and dignity, it is your utmost right and power to stop it. You know this proverb; what goes around comes around.Do not react  when there’s no reason to. Do not fall into the game of the Devil. I warn you fellow humans. Life is pretty short to have all this mess going on around you, or perhaps..in you..  Learn to make other people happy. Even you’re 45 or 57 years old, ‘service ‘ your soul once in a while.  Check if every component is alright. Double-check if your ‘wires’ are still intact. Same goes to the younger generation, yes, you kids, the teenagers, the youth. Do re-organize your life before you start organizing others’. Look at your own flaws before pointing at others and telling them how bad and evil they are. You may not know what lurks in you until you look hard enough.

Make a person happy everyday. That should be your mission. What you give you get back . I had enough of bad days and sad nights. It’s time to make the world a happier place to live in. Hey, I think you look really look good today ! Hey, is that a smile appearing  at the corner of your lips?

Do feel free to leave any comments in my blog as i do cherish feedbacks from my readers. To those who have left comments before, Thank You !

Learn to make people happy. Live a happy, vibrant but humble life ! Amen.

the black and white potrait by missjewelz

Eddie & Julie

Eddie has been a friend of mine for a few several years now. Not exactly sure how, but we are actually related. Anyways, my dear friend Eddie has endlessly written several poems for me. P Thanks Eddie. He has written at my other blog, my Facebook as well as this blog you’re looking at.

Recently he wrote this poem in response to my post ‘The Leo in Me’

Follow closely to what he has to comment/write ok.
I m Missjewelz
Juliana Ali
Sedated with barb
Pumped with diazepam
Declined interest in life
oh my goodness
topsy turvy priority
that aint healthy
I’m the patient
and the chief surgeon
and now I’m telling myself
get a grip of myself
be and stay strong
but the sedation
its just too damnation
what will I be
‘Let it be’ ?
No way !
I will do it my way
But how long more
can I handle my insensitive senses
and guilty perceptions?
Trials and tribulations
Where is the lion in me?
to revive my soul back
to overcome the lethargic side-effect?
….I’m regaining some pulse back..
there are signs telling me
that I will make it through,
I really hope so
I do I do
no matter how long,
no matter how hard
I will persevere
Like a st bernard
Living is not only about focusing
on bad medical history or troubled pasts
but fellas…
It’s about looking forward
to a better tomorrow
in spite of all the sorrow
There is a cure
there should be therapeutic
and soul-istic
led by chief surgeon Jewelz.
She is doing her best
to bring back the ‘lion’ in her,
her soul and her life
You may not know if whats best for you now
will still be good for you in the future,
and you also don’t know if the things you hate most right now,
is actually waiting and wishing that you change your mind
and hopefully you will find
because it is actually whats better and ideal for you
perhaps its dejavu
To err is human
I m a woman
We have to forgive too yeah !
What do you say ?
And we must not take err too hard
too difficult even to think of a solution
But musn’t take it too easy as well !
Besides on just relying on our rational brains,
must take into account our mind also,
and on top of that …
our faith, belief and strength
It’s never a one-sided victory
if i do overcome an err/dilemma
I can’t be rationally happy
and yet in my heart and mind,
things are not looking so pretty
Some of us do pretend
that we’re satisfied with our life,
thanks to the constant income
and supportive families and friends,
and that we don’t to really have to think
outside the box
to seek what’s really missing
Do you get what I’m trying to say here?
Or am I talking too softly ?
This patient will overcome the sedation
because she has had more than enough
being clueless ,
hopeless
and pointless
throughout the surgery
that she rather feel pain
and hit back to reality
than stay unconscious
while the mess around her continues to grow
She WILL wake up pretty soon,
fights the side effects
and come back pretty strong,
optimistic and determined
Determined that she will be in control again
after losing it the past 1-2 months.
Before being discharged by the chief surgeon,
she said ‘I thank you and your team for the assistance,
I really appreciate it,
but I owe it to God that I’m still alive
and for helping me find myself,
and my courage.’
I think the patient has found her lion back
She sees hope
the patient has found her lion back
she dont need dope
no barb nor diazepam in a pac
when she sees hope
when she sees hope
dominant, spontaneously creative and extrovert
In grandeur of manner,
splendor of bearing
and magnanimity of personality,
monarch’s among humans
as the lion is king of beasts.
ambitious, courageous, dominant,
strong willed, positive, independent,
self-confident
uncomplicated,
strongly idealistic,
humane, and beneficent.
have powerful intelligence
and are of a broad philosophical,
sometimes religious, turn of mind.
excessively negative Leonian can be
one of the most unpleasant human beings imaginable,
displaying extreme arrogance,
autocratic pride,
haughtiness,
and excessive hastiness of temper.
a passion for luxury,
emotional indulgence,
Fortunately it is rare
that a Leo is so undisciplined
as to give way thoroughly to vices,
and their tendencies to them are usually balanced
by an innate wisdom.
Leo type is open, sincere, genuine and trusting.
Outgoing, spontaneously warm hearted and plain spoken,
though never lacking in kindliness,
Leos are more disillusioned
than the average
if let down by those they trust.
According to the stars
Leo goes with Aries,
Sagittarius, Gemini, Libra and especially Pisces
Leos are true romantics
very passionate and loving
so much caring
but need to be a skeptic
when being romantic
emotional involvement allows the heart to rule the head
Unless the head and heart are in sync
fate may teach a hard lesson to tolerate

missjewelz

Thank you ! I appreciate it.

In the various walks of life that we go through, we do at times sulk for the unexpected events that occur to us. Events which pretty much annoys, disappoints or lands us in that ‘grief mode’. When you feel you are at your full capacity and blast, being able to take over the ‘reins’ of your life, controlling it, whether slowing or speeding up, of course, you can’t but feel happy and ‘in control’. Just like when you’re horse riding.  You begin to walk, trot, progress to canter then go into full gallop. but then… Wham ! The horse suddenly bucks, you fall !

 

'the Fall'

 

 

 

Do you pick yourself  upright away? Or would you straight away chase the horse you were on, trying to calm it down so that it won’t scare and endanger other riders? Or would you freeze for a bit on the track/field worrying of that sharp pain on your lower back? The choice is all yours. But at times, you do need an extra hand to lift you up. Another hand to hold the reins for you before you mount the horse again. That is if you’re able to ride again without support.

But what if not? Firstly, you need to have someone to help you. And secondly, not be selfish by allowing yourself to receive assistance, you know.. the ‘lift me up when I’m down’ principle ? The beauty of life is that God created us for each other. Friends, family,loved ones…We’re meant for each other.And that includes helping and caring for each other.

When you take things too hard, you will only be thrusting that invisible sword of pain, hatred and sadness even deeper. I call it the self-inflicted pain. A friend once said to me; ‘No dear, if you really know the truth of of mind, you wouldn’t feel it that hard’. What my friend meant was; the pain that you perceive and sense, can actually be what your minds tell you, and not the actual pain you’re getting. My friend continued, ‘….see the truth out of it. If you see it, you wont even bother to try anything, but IF you can’t see it, you’ll keep trying and suffering’.

So which one would you prefer? See the truth or not see it? Or you rather thrust that sword deeper. We wouldn’t want to be fools. or would we?

Whenever we see our own family or friends in trouble, do we offer help ? If you haven’t, I think its about time we also think about others .And it doesn’t stop there, if you know what I mean. Whatever deeds sincere from your heart, will, insyaAllah makes its way back to you.

 

Friends

 

 

 

I want to thank my dear friend for the words. You helped lift me up. Thank you ! I appreciate it. To all other friends who were there continously keeping me motivated, thank you too !

When you’re in a fix, no matter how small or big, don’t be to shy to get help. And do not underestimate the power of prayers. HE will help those  who help themselves (including allowing others to help you).Its too short a life to be sulking and crying away… Cheer up, see the brighter side and live life cool. God Bless us All.

Cheerios.

-mj-

 

See the truth out of it !